


Of Love and Loss

by IncendiaGlacies



Series: Giddy and Teeny [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 18:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18288140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: In which Jax has a much needed conversation on what Gideon is planning for her little girl. And Gideon needs help moving on.





	Of Love and Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Written in the spur of the moment, then I realized how necessary it was so I added it to this series

“You know Teeny loves it here,” said Jax. He walked slowly so not to disturb the other person.

“And?” Gideon’s tone was curt, caustic. She didn't look at him once, her gaze stuck on the wall in front of her.

He ignored it. She had good days and bad days. Ever since she had turned human, sometimes it was like she was a bomb waiting to go off. He took a seat next to her on the steps and nudged her shoulder with his. “Once upon a time you used to love having her here on the Waverider as well.”

They looked around the timeship together. “Things were different then,” Gideon said softly.

“What’s changed?” Jax knew she had been training Martina from a young age to take over where Rip had left off. But then she’d stopped. As much as he may not have liked it, it hurt his little girl. Gideon had shunned Martina the last few visits she had made, it had made Teeny cry on more than one occasion and he knew Gideon hadn't left completely dry eyed either. 

“I didn’t have a Captain, neither did the ship. But I realized I’m human now. I-I’m Captain of the Waverider. She’s mine.” Gideon's voice was meek, as if she were waiting for him just to disagree.

“Of course she is. But you know you won’t be around forever. Not anymore.” She wasn't an AI anymore, as a human she would have a limited lifespan. Surely, she knew that?

“Of course I know that!” She glared at him, her voice harsh. “I know that and it’s not fair. But-I’m not ready to give that up yet. Not all of this.” She stroked the wall behind her and the lights twinkled lovingly. “I was never meant to be human but now I am. This is an opportunity I never thought I would get. I love her and she’s mine.”

“She always will be.” Jax patted her shoulder and pulled her into a side hug. “But one day, she’s going to need someone else.”

“Why are you even encouraging this? You were furious with what I did when you found out!”she reminded him.

“Because you went behind my back and tried to manipulate my four year old daughter without asking my permission. What, did you think that she would love the ship, you, so much she would just sign up to time travel after one or two fanciful stories?” This time he was short with her.

Gideon looked down and bit her lip. “Yes. It was how the Time Masters did it. I suppose old habits die hard. I didn't even realize I was doing it until it was too late, truthfully.”

“Guess so.” He sighed tiredly. He knew Gideon had always seen the world differently than others. To her, the ends justified the means. “What’s done is done. You showed her all this and she fell in love. You can’t take it away from her now. I might not like it, but you started her on a path neither of us can take her off of.”

Gideon looked out onto the empty ship. It was only ever her and her Love anymore. “I’ve done this before,” she said quietly. “Opened my heart for a little boy that I was so sure would carry on after Rip. He was my Little Captain and he was going to be my forever. My happy ending for when I lost…but then it didn’t happen. Jonas died so young and all that planning and love came to nothing. It broke whatever semblance of a heart I had then.” She turned to look at Jax, tears in her eyes. “I am so scared to love and lose again. Not again. It hurt so much as a computer, I can only imagine the destruction it would cause me as a human.”

Jax squeezed her hand and brought her in for a proper hug. “I know it hurts. Hurt me after Martin, but that’s what human life is. Love and loss. You can’t stop, not ever. Rip lost his family and still found love for us, for you. I lost Martin and I love little Ronnie every day. Maybe, you can find it in your heart to love just one more time, for Teeny.”

Gideon clasped his hand and he kissed hers, placing their locked hands over her heart. “Humans are capable of so much. It’s beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.” 

"They are. It's the beauty of being human. You have all these emotions right now, Gideon." He squeezed her hand again knowing she had only just begun healing over the loss of Rip. Jax liked to think Martina had helped some. "You can't turn them off. You're not a computer anymore."

"It was much easier that way," she joked.

Jax chuckled lightly and wiped a tear from her eye. "Maybe, I wouldn't know. But I do know that Rip would want you to carry on."

She inhaled sharply. "That's cruel."

It was. Invoking Rip's last wishes was a low move, but Jax knew it would be what the Captain would have wanted. "He would want you happy, safe, loved. The ship too. Martina can give you that."

Gideon bit her lip. "And you're okay with this? Allowing your daughter to traverse across time and space, not a backward glance to her presence?" She had seen it happen countless times to previous Captains. Only Rip had Miranda and Jonas to center him, be his anchor.

"Oh sure, now you ask permission." Jax swallowed roughly. "I won't lie, I'm still holding out hope that she'll choose something less dangerous. I remember doing all of this, how scary and exhilarating it can be." He knew she wouldn't turn it down. Even Jax had and in the end he loved it.

"If she did, everything that I'd have done would be for naught." Gideon huffed. "It really sucks not being able to see the future timelines anymore."

"I'm sure it does." He allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder. "My point is she loves the Waverider and you. And I think you already love her too."

Gideon closed her eyes. "I do. Very much." Her voice broke at the end.

"Then it looks like you already know the answer."

"Martina Jackson, little Teeny....my Little Captain."


End file.
